were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
