me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
