the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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