the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
