Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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