Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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