i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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