The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
