question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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