i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
