thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
