i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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