would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
