I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
