Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i think i just lost a toe
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
