Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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