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That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize