I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
