It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
