return my video game
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
