these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
