I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
