Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
