Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
