Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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