at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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