He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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