dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
