Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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