my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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