I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
