got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
