my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
