There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
