Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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