Fuck appropriateness.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize