Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
