After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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