Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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