Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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