If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
