I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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