He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
