Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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