I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
