White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
