so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
