3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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