She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
