Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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