"it" just moved
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
