the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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