playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
