great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
