We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize