Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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