My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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