How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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