would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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